im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
