Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize