tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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