all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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