If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
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