then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
My liver just had a heart attack.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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