Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize