You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
