i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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