a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
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I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
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I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize