So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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