I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
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