Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
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please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
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We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.