Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
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