tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Maybe he injected his testicle?
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