ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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