Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize