Slut skills are useful in every country.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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