last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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