Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Randomize
