I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
