Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.