I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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