3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
a search helicopter?!
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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