im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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