Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
