I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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