There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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