I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
