If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
