Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize