I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize