then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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