she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize