when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize