Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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