im holly from the hills drunk
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
