I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize