Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
