so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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