You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
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