So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Randomize