Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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