Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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