Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
