You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize