If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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