i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
