Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize