Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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