Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
